Funny sms

Funny sms

morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

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One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

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When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

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Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend-
Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

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Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

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Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....

If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

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what happend 2 ur mobile?
what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

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First the engagement ring, then
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

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Last night I lay in my bed
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

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Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

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If your a Vegetarian to be nice
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

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I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

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Its been a rough day.I got up this
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

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Jesus says to John come forth ill
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

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At dis moment in time 10 million people
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

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The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

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i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

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An independant study has proven
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

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I'm @ the police station
I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

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girls are like phones.
girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

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MEN-opause MEN-strual
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

This cat is cat a cat good cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

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I send dis fish as a sign of friendship
><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)

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One day Raja and rani decided to send
One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"

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can you lend me 2000 Rs?
can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????

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terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

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Dear user,your wife can become
Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!

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A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:
Husband seting near to his
Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

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Why do couples hold hands
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

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girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.

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Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.

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PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

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MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

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MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

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Hay Baby ;) Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

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Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .

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Love affairs:Something like cricket,
where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

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Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba, Dubai janey wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar.... karan---

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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!!!!!

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Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se.

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Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam -Eng Trans. Do such kind of doings before leaving to HELL :-)
ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN" Eng Trans. that from every street, every one saying "Oh Dad"... "Oh Dad"
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ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,
agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata,
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra hai,
pata chala chuha MQM mein tha.
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Itna Khubsurat kese muskuralete ho...?
Itna Katil Kese Sharmalete Ho.....?
Bachpan Se kameene Ho .....?
Ya Shakal Ayisy banalete Ho ...?
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When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition
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GIRL FRIEND IS FOR FUN,WIFE IS FOR SON, GIRL FRIEND IS NIGHT PARTNER,WIFE IS LIFE PARTNER, GIRL FRIEND IS TOOTY FRUITY WHILE WIFE IS QISMATH POOTI
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Teacher: tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?
Student: M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note mama'
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A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
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2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
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Ek Hathi Agar Nadi Me Kudta Hai To Kya Hoota Hai.....?.....?....?Socho.....?Are Hathi Gilla Ho Jata Hai.....
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1 sardar 2 another sardar;yaar kal tumhein bas mein thaper kyon para;sardar replied;yaar meri tasveer larki ke qadmon mein gir gye thi.mein ne kaha behn jee zara saari
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Bari Barsi Khtan Gya Te Khat ke Liyande Kher.......Jera 5 min de ander menu SMS na kare ooooooooo apni mashook da veeeer. BOLO TARA RA RA
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terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
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can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????
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One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"
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Hamaare Dil ke arman aansuon me beh gaye,
Hum gali me thay gali me reh gaye,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kambakhat light chali gayi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye..
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Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bihre ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Zamana Aaya hai!!!
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Hontho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai,
Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur Q na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai
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Arzo hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye..
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Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana...
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narag me hai
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Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho... Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho..
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Gulaab ko bhi Kamal bana dete,Uski ek Ada pe Kai gazal bana dete...Kambhakt marti nahi mujh par larkiyaan,Warna LUCKNOW me bhi TAJMAHAL bana dete
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the hero of TITANIC went to court to prove that he is the most HANDSOME,SWEET&SMART guy on the arth but he failed. he came out angrily & ask. yaar ye ILYAS kon hai
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HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOR DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAZE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR HAS KE TO DIKHO TERE SAARE DAANT TOR DENGE HA..HA..HA
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A 60 year old bachelor advertizes his zaroorat-e-rishta in newspaper. After a month, he gets a letter saying, "Miyan! Is umar mein farishtey aatey hain, rishtey nahin."
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Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai ha
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ek sardar darvaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha,his wife askes him"y r u standing here".sardar ji bole"sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon.wife"to jaao na!sardar ji"kese jaoon bahir KUTA khra he...!
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maine pucha chand se k kahin dekha hai mere yar sa hasin.....chand ne kaha ullu k pathe itni upar se kiya dikhta hai koi
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Rabri : age jante hain raat me belli pura dudhwa p jati hai.
Lalu : tumko kyee bar bole hain ki raat me baluj ka button lga kr soya kar.
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Sardar was standing without a shirt, a friend say's wah Sardar g barri fit chest hey tuhaday, Sardar proudly replies; oye haley tey tu apni parjayee de nahi vekhe.
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Arre deewano mujay pehchano.
Kahan say aya main............?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
?
?
?
?
number dekh k pata nahi lagda.
Nobody is like you
Nobody is like u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody misses u, nobody wants to see u good, nobody is ur best fr, nobody is happy with u.... dont cry.......my name is nobody

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I m getting married next month.
I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

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Its too hard to loose someone
Its too heard to loose someone who is 99% cute, 98% sweet, 97% loving, 96% talented and 100% friendly, Thats me, whats a waste of life if u loose me.

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if u read this, i m smart..
if u read this, i m smart.. if u save this, u agree i m smart.. if u 4ward this, u r spreadin that i m smart.. if u delete this u r jealous...

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Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips,
Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, a great smile the perfect walk, smoothest talk, absolute gorgeous, thts enough bout me... how r u ?

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Rules of Life:
Rules of Life:Assume Nothing,Xpect Little,Do More,Demand Less,Smile Often,Dream Big,Laugh a Lot,Pray Always,Cry Once for missing me everyday.

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Why do U think I SMS u ?
Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass.

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The rain makes all things beautiful.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you?

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i look at the moon
i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again

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U R 100% beautiful, U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,
U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words...
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QUESTION:
What's pink and hard when it goes in... and soft and wet when it comes out?
ANSWER:
Bubblegum

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If we join one pipal with other pipal with the help of a wire.what will we call it ?
Guess
Nokia - connecting pipals.

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whenever u feel sadness in your HEART,
blackness in your EYES,
paleness on your FACE,
fragrance in your it shows u are suffering lack of vitamin "ME".


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Puppy dog asked to mummy dog: Mummy who is my Father.Mummy: Baby, keep silence, don't disturb your Father, he is reading this SMS now.

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Barsaat ki raat,
Ek
Bhigi Larki,
Bhigey kapray,
bhigay hont,
bhigi zulfein,
Bhega jism,
Us se nazrein mili dekh kar is dharakte dil ne kaha
/guess karo
Kal yeh 100% Bamaar hogi.

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Jab tanhai ka ehsaas na ho,
Na koi tumaray paas ho,
Na tum kisi k paas ho,
Na tum kisi ki nazar mein ho,
Na koi tumhari nazar mein ho,
to samjh lena ke app
common sense Baathroom ma ho yaar or kahan

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Ek din mein ne aap ko khwaab mein dekha k aap ki daith ho gai or aap 2 hooron k saat bethey ho.
mein ne ALLAH TAALA se poocha k yeh inaam us ko kis neki per mila,
reply mila k hooron ko kisi ghalti par saza k tor par us k saath chora hai.

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hold ten roses in ur hand & stand in fron of a mirror, u can see there eleven roses,oh...! i am soorry daa, still i am standing beside of u

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Oey kuti ke bachey
?
kitne pyarey hotey hain.... hain na?

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Tapti hui garmi ki loo hai tu dosti ke nam par thu hai tu E-Dost tujhe aur kya kahe dhuli hui gand per cipka hua goo hai tu.....

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kal POLICE ko aik dead body mili hai... Black Teeth hain...Ghonslay jayse baal hain...Dimagh nahi hai...Shakal PAGALOON wali hai...Paun ultey hain...mujhey FIKAR ho rahi hai...Zara BELL maroo...

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R u Mail or Femail
Answer k liye
nechay dekho
-
-
-
Bewakoof yahan nahe
apne nechay dekho

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A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking Copyright www.lovelysms.com
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
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Close ur eyes Nd raise mirror up 2 ur face...Relex ur body Nd think about devil as long as U can. Now open ur eyes. The devil is here.

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u remmeber the day u tarvell with me u put ur face out of the window and i put my maonkey face out of the window then people start shoting
twins twins
Full Name: vickey
paish hai
aap
ke
phone
main
nahati
hui
larki.
aaj thund hai...
kal nhaye gi

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Doghly
Gaddar
Chhichhore
Meesny
Ghunne
Dhokabaz
Matlabi
Moqa parast
Tota Chasham
Ary Ary aap naraz mat ho,aisa meri parosan apne miyan ko khehti hay Copyright www.lovelysms.com

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agar jindi main kuch kar dikhana chahte ho to kuch aisa karo ki jis shahar jis ghali jis mod se gujro to wahan
ke har ghar se aawaz aaye Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye.

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jin kay pass hota hay woo hath may lay kar helaty hay.
jin kay pass nahee hay woo ungli dal kar kam chalaty hay.
bolo kya?
dirty mind it's tooth brush

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All thats smile u make and hello say 2 wanted just I that out find U when irritating very it find will U..
R U CONFUSED?? Now read it BACKWARD.

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I Want You To Be with Me
In a Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner...&
Say Those Sweet
Three Words To U...
"Pay The Bill

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It's a test to check your capability of Mathematics
But you have 2 read this msg for only once.......
ok!
R u ready??
Here We Go....
2+7
+9
-5
+4
+8
-2
+5
-4
+12
-8
THE QUESTIOS:
How many Times Did u Press The Button

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MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U Copyright www.lovelysms.com
MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U
AISA MERI MAMA MUJH KHETI HAIN .

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Aap apni zindagi me itna aage jao...
Ki aap jahan bhi jao log aapse bas yahi kahein...
jao baba Aage jao.........................................
Aage jao............................................... .......
Change nahe hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

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if u don't mind plz count thess stars
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
**********
**
***********
app ki tadeyet to teek hai na?
din ko tare ginne lage

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tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
Tan Ki Shakti, Man Ki Shakti, BOURNVITA

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Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas

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Tum Door Sahi Majboor Sahi Per Yaad Tumhari Ati Hai Tum Saans Wahaan Per Letey Hoo Badboo Yahaan Tuk
Ati Hai.
Ab Chota Closeup Sirf Paanch Rupey main.

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Believe in God!
Pray 2 god always n everytime.

Pray

Pray

-
Pray

I SAID PRAY!
NOT press-press!
Bandar ko mobile diya to aisa hi karega

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Mr inside lives with Mrs outside. Inside went outside leaving outside inside. Outside standing inside called
inside to come inside. But inside stayin outside called outside to come outside. so outside came outside and
inside went outside. oh, no where is ur mind now? inside or outside?

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Its too heard to loose someone who is 99% cute, 98% sweet, 97% loving, 96% talented and 100% friendly,
Thats me, whats a waste of life if u loose me.

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Every girls is Smart,
intelligent,
Sweet
Talented
Excellent
Romantic
Sexy. in short form they all are your S.I.S.T.E.R.S.

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ur five qualities
1--------
2--------
3-----
4-------
5---------
agar zindage main koi acha kaam kar laita to aj ye jaga khali na hoti
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